To the guy who broke my heart,

 After all this time, I chose to write this letter now because, I have moved on, moved on to a guy who is so much more than you could ever be. I have moved on with the one person who is going to treat me right, be my support and will cherish what he has.

I now forgive you and wish you a happy life with who you found because, I chose to let you go with an open heart. I chose to forgive you for all the wrongs and move on because I don’t want to hold any grudges and be bitter about that part of my life. Sure, we did have memories, happy memories, but those no longer make me smile or race my heart because I want to make new ones. I want to be happy and carefree like I was before I met you. 

I sure was angry with you, for what you did and made me feel but now I chose to let it go. I don’t want to give you the power over me. I don’t want to feel the feeling of hopelessness again. I am being the bigger and smarter person among us, to forgive you but never forget. There were times when you hurt me, made me feel insignificant and small, times when you broke my heart, broke my heart again and I don’t want that feeling make me feel bad for myself again. I went through a long time of relationship with you, and allowed you to make me feel sorry for myself. I hoped that someone will come along the way and make me feel everything you did not.

 Just few years back, I was thinking my future with you, but now I realise that I was blind, to the fact that you started finding solace in someone who wasn’t me. You ignored my texts asking about your day not because you were busy but busy with someone who wasn’t me. I was letting you hurt me to no ends, I was holding on to the relationship that didn’t even matter to you. I was blind to the fact that you spent time with me, when it was fitting for you. In the midst of so many people, I thought you would notice me but I was blind to the fact that the person you searched for wasn’t me. It was you, you were the one to act immature yet, you blamed me for wanting to hear you say “I love you” back when you were with your friends. You were the one who wanted me to dress as you wished, you were the one who told me I wasn’t good enough yet, I was blind to not see that and all you did was make me weak. You made me believe that I wasn’t good enough for you when it was the exact opposite. It wasn’t all you did, you made me a game, a game that you played well and I was blind to see what you were doing to me.

 It was out of nowhere, when, one day everything changed. I don’t know who initiated the change, but I felt it and just like that, all those months we spent together were gone. The day when you first lied to me, changed everything, when you deleted your texts or when you ignored my calls. It was all those frustrations and anxiety built over months that led the change and when you talked about life without me, it was then when I felt what I meant for you. That night I heard you plead, beg for forgiveness, but I knew then, you were going to be the same but we were not.

The words you said pierced my heart, I couldn’t listen to it anymore, your hugs were no longer providing me with comfort and your eyes didn’t hold the love that I first saw. You hurt me so bad that I didn’t have it in my heart to look back when I walked away from you.

You told me how to dress, who to talk to. You didn’t like the way I acted or I was friends with someone. You told me almost everything I did was wrong and yet I believed you. Now I know how wrong I was. I shouldn’t have been a mere puppet in your hands. You knew then nothing was going to change my mind because, I have had enough.

 I met someone who taught me that a true man would have been all that what you weren’t. I now know better. I now have such a person in my life, who has taught me better. This is why I forgive you, because you are just a boy, not a man who could look straight into my eyes and tell me what you feel instead of toying with my feelings.

Maybe we could have been together; maybe it would have been different. But you were a lesson I learnt. A lesson that taught me to stand up for who I am because no one can make me feel inferior in my own skin. I am thankful that I learnt this lesson of heartbreak because I am a whole new different person. I learned so much from you, that I will not let anyone treat me the way you did. You were never a mistake; I don’t regret being with you, the only thing I regret is that I could have acted differently. After all this I chose to forgive you, because I no longer feel anything.

 From, A beautiful heartbroken who was once yours.


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